You have to find it wherever you can. Sometimes it is difficult. At least once a week I click on the link to the Rocky Mountain News, temporarily forgetting she is no longer with us. The loss of that newspaper in particular was very difficult to stomach. The Rocky was driven by the passion for journalism, very different from the business model the Post is based on. The Rocky shutting down was a huge blow to the world of journalism around me, and the ripples of that are still being felt.

I still wander around the site some days, wishing and wanting for the content to change. Today, the photo page wouldn’t load. I’m not sure if it is my connection or that they are slowly removing content from the servers, but it hit me. One day it will all be gone. I was lucky to be published in that paper. Only once, but at least it was once. My life as a journalist revolved around someday working in that newsroom, among those journalists. When it closed I was a ship without a sail. The last day it published was the opening reception for my work at a store on Larimer, and as I sat there (alone because all of my journalist friends were at the bar getting quite thoroughly soused) I looked at my artistic prints on the walls and was forced to restructure my goals. At the time, all I knew was the pinnacle was no longer an option.

I’m still not entirely sure of my future as a photographer, though I am excited by everything I do and try. I am not the typical college graduate, having four kids and a mortgage makes me, well, not so mobile. This week I was inspired by a simple act of kindness dreamt up by my sweet friend Miss Cora Kemp. We surprised our mentor, Kenn Bisio for his birthday. You can read about it on her website. Bisio has inspired many of us, as infuriating as he can be at times, every emotion brought out makes you think and consider.

I find that providing inspiration is the best possible thing a person can do, and when I find myself lacking in inspiration, the best thing I can do is to nurture others. It seems to wake up my own creativity and bring me back to where I should be. I am in the middle of one of the most extensive and elaborate projects I have ever taken on. It’s exciting, liberating, nerve-wracking and at times creativity quashing. I have a great support system, wonderful friends and many people who keep me going every day which is so very important.

I love being able to change things through small actions. Loaning something to a fellow shooter, chasing down contacts for another, helping flesh out the crux of a story with someone else, brainstorming new ideas with yet another. I just love to be part of the process, to know that I helped with something, pushed someone, helped someone or changed their mind about something important. I was reminded of that last week and this week.

So I look forward to next week and whatever will happen next.

As for today, another picture from the ginormous project I am in the middle of.

©2010 Jenn LeBlanc

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